My brain is in many different places right now. I don’t know what to think, or how to feel, and things are coming to mind that I don’t want to remember, things I don’t want to feel, things I don’t understand. I am confused and anxious. Too many things are happening all at once and it is throwing me off. It is…overwhelming. I am looking forward to these next few days, but I am unsure of what my future holds. I am worried about this, especially with the way today’s events unfolded. My eyes have been opened to many things today, including how quickly time passes. Many happenings in the past year have each showed me new ways and new reasons that time passes so quickly. My mind…and my heart are confused. I don’t know what to do about many things. I don’t even think I am making any sense. I won’t be clear though. What am I doing with my life? I need to answer this question before I take another step that I will regret. Each regretted step I take is a blow to the stomach of my life. The more I take, the more unsettled my life becomes. I just…have no idea what to do. We will see…
June 2010
- Me: You want a gummy bear?
- Justin: No thanks.
- Me: What?! These are Haribo! You don't say no to Haribo!!
- Justin: I just did.
I began writing a song for Justin yesterday. I got down a simple tab on the guitar for the full song, and wrote some lyrics, but I haven’t come up with a melody for the lyrics yet. I also need to come up with a real title for the song. It is temporarily titled “Justin” at the moment. No wait, I think I called it “Bear”. Maybe I will leave it. We’ll see.
I like the way it has turned out so far. I’ve never written a song before, and when I have tried in the past, it never turns out this quickly. I’m pretty excited about it, actually. I hope I can finish it before tomorrow, and I really hope he likes it. I’m feeling kind of modest about it. I don’t know if it is any good or not, I just wrote how I feel about him. How I’m grateful for him and how I love him and how I love doing the things we do together and how I love everything about him. Ah, I’m too embarrassed to post the lyrics! Even on a blog that no one reads except for myself. *sigh*
If I don’t finish this by tomorrow, I’ll make it a present for our one year anniversary. That wouldn’t be the only present, though. I want to get him something really nice for our one year, but I have no idea what that would be. I can’t get him a guitar because it’s too expensive and he already has eight guitars. I suppose I could get him music. Like…maybe some DVD concerts of his favorite bands. Or I could download them and burn them to DVD for him. That’d be free! But I’d still need to buy him something…well, I don’t need to, but I really want to. I want to bake for him, also. Chocolate chip cookies, maybe. Laced with Nutella! What an idea! Hmm…maybe I could purchase him a really nice jacket. I know he likes jackets. I like jackets, too. Well, no jackets, more like petticoats and sweaters. He likes nice jackets, though. He has some really nice ones from thrift stores and from his uncle. Or…maybe I could purchase concert tickets, or take him somewhere beautiful. Oh! Maybe we could go to Mount Shasta for our anniversary! I love it up there, it’s just gorgeous, and he has never been! I must keep this in mind.
Great DJ by The Ting Tings
Fed up with your indigestion
Swallow words one by one
Folks got high at a quarter to five
Don’t you feel you’re growing up undone?
Nothing but the local DJ
Said he had some songs to play
What went down from his fooling around
Gave hope and a brand new day
Imagine all the girls - ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
And the boys - ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
And the strings - ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee
And the drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
Oh
Nothing was the same again
All about where and when
Blowing our minds in a life unkind
You got to love the BPM
When his work was all but done
Remembering how this begun
We wore his love like a hand in a glove
This preacher plays it all night long
Nothing but the girls - ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
And your boys - ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
And the strings - ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee
And the drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
Imagine all the girls - ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
And the boys - ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
And the strings - ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee
And the drums - ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-oh
And all the girls - ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
And the boys - ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
And the strings - ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee
And the drums
The drums
The drums
The drums
Getting Better by The Beatles (Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band)
It’s getting better all the time
I used to get mad at my school
The teachers who taught me weren’t cool
Holding me down, turning me round
Filling me up with your rules
I’ve got to admit it’s getting better
It’s a little better all the time
I have to admit it’s getting better
It’s getting better since you’ve been mine
Me used to be angry young man
Me hiding me head in the sand
You gave me the word
I finally heard
I’m doing the best that I can
I admit it’s getting better
It’s a little better all the time yes
I admit it’s getting better
It’s getting better since you’ve been mine
I used to be cruel to my woman
I beat her and kept her from the
Things that she loved
Man I was mean but I’m changing my scene
And I’m doing the ebst that I can
I admit it’s getting better
A little better all the time
Yes I admit it’s getting better
It’s getting better since you’ve been mine
Getting so much better all the time
This doesn’t mean the movies will necessarily be made - but based on their 2008 contracts, the stars of the show are signed on if they are.
(thanks musicislife2222!)
——
Not sure how to feel about this. I love Glee, but I don’t see it working in movie form for whatever reason… but who knows? I suppose we’ll cross that bridge if and when we come to it.
This can not be!
Glee is going to turn into what Degrassi turned into; an overplayed and overpopulated children’s fad. Making three films, AND a series of novels, seems to be taking this less seriously and way too far! Whoever decided this is over exaggerating the sudden popularity of the show and taking it to extreme measures. They are going to kill it much faster than it ought to die by doing this and I am extremely disappointed. I am assuming the show will become stupid and I will eventually stop watching it, whether that be for season two or season three. How unfortunate!!